Using Envy as a guide

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This morning, I found myself feeling very envious of another person’s achievements.

“Wow, this person created this? That’s amazing! How did this person become an expert builder of this?

“Where did this person go to school? XXX University… such a genius.”

“How old is this person? … They are my age! But they achieved so much already…”

"Wow, this person created this? That's amazing! How did this person become an expert builder of this?

"Where did this person go to school? XXX University... such a genius."

"How old is this person? ... They are my age! But they achieved so much already..."

"This person won an award when they were just 20? Oh my god..."

"They have so many followers...Wow..."

"They founded their own company and made it a success in just a few years? Holy s***!"

And down, down the rabbit hole we go again. With the advent of social media, investigating shallow background information of (read: stalking) this person was very easy. The further I looked up online what this person had attained and is currently working on, the greater the envy in me grew.

And then the thought whizzed through my mind, “Why am I not like this person? What have I not achieved as much?”

And there, was where I paused. I mentally took a step back, and stopped what I was doing. I whispered to myself that what I was doing was only detrimental to my well being. That feeling envy is just plain meaningless.

But is it? Is there really no utility to my emotion of envy?

All natural emotions exist as a guide for our soul

As I am currently rereading the book, The Secret Strength of Depression, I am reminded to how all types of human emotions spark and flow within ourselves as an indicator for ourselves. Emotions, especially when it is a strong feeling, call us towards introspection. That there is chord within ourselves that requires retuning.

As such, the feeling of envy would have the same function. When we feel envy inside of us – instead of discarding the emotion and feeling ashamed that we feel it – we should take heed of it. We need to observe conscientiously the green emotion, and read its hidden message that is telling us what we should be doing with our lives. If we can get over feeling guilty because we feel envious of other people, envy acts as a set of clues to what we truly desire with ourselves.

We might learn to keep an envy diary. It will contain fragments of a future self trying to break through.

School of Life, The Uses of Envy

When we look at other people with the lens of envy, we need to remember that what we see through that lens contain pieces of the life that we long and hope for.

Envy is, in essence, an emotional call-to-action to strive for our dreams.

We should stop feeling ashamed and guilty about ourselves for feeling envy. Instead, let’s use envy as a guiding emotion that would drive us forward to start our own adventure to realise the kind of life that we awfully want.

Peace,
Ruiz